Green Eye

For old time's sake...

And because I'm bored and can't leave until morning rush hour dies down...


01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
Nope.

02) What was your dream growing up?
I wanted to be a whale trainer for Sea World.

03) What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could be better at math. And I'd love to go back to being a devout gymnast and swimmer.

04) If you bought a drink what would it be?
If we're talking alcoholic, I'd love some Heineken. If it's non-alcoholic, I'd go with clear soda like Sprite or Squirt.

05) Favorite vegetable?
Asparagus all the way.

06) What was the last book you read?
"Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk. <333

07) What zodiac sign are you?
Gemini.

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
Both ears are pierced, including my left tragus. I also have two tattoos (one on each shoulder blade).

09) Worst Habit?
I'm a worry wart.

10) If you saw a friend walking down the street would you offer them a ride?
Sure, as long as I knew them relatively well.

11) What is your favorite sport?
Competitive swimming and diving. Anything equestrian is awesome, too.

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
Mostly optimistic. I find that constant pessimism is a real energy drainer.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Without access to electronics? I'd probably do what I do best: reorganize whatever I can-- most likely my purse, which tends to be a black hole for whatever I throw into it.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I had a horrible kidney infection back in 2007. I was hospitalized for 2 days and out of work for about a week (it was my first job ever, too. Great timing).

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I can put both feet behind my head...?

16) Do you have any pets?
Not right now. But I plan on adopting a cat relatively soon since I'm now living alone.

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
Assuming you're someone I know, I'd do the polite thing and invite you in. No problem there.

18) What was your first impression of me?
N/A

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Scary, especially since this whole "creepy clown" epidemic has started. Clowns that chase people with bats, knives, and chainsaws are not clowns that I wish to interact with. Let's just say that I double- and triple-check that all of my doors and windows are locked every night; I also have sticks in the tracks of each sliding door in preparation for the off chance that someone successfully picks one of the locks (yes, the clown thing has made me paranoid).

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I'd want to be a little taller.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
I'm the kind of person who would likely be someone's conscience. How do you think I've avoided ever getting into any major trouble?

22) What color eyes do you have?
Blue/green.

23) Ever been arrested?
Nope.

24) Bottle or can soda?
Either one. The flavor is more important.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Pay off ALL of my small debts, save a chunk of it, and treat myself to my final tattoo with another chunk.

27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
Depends on who I'm hanging out with.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes. Not kidding.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Write, paint, crochet, pull up random funny YouTube videos, etc.

30) Do you swear a lot?
Not really.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
People who are chronically flaky. You can waste my money, as I can get it back later. Same goes for my energy as a whole, as I can get more of that as well. But time is not something I can get back. Ever.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Conscientious.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
On the rare occasion that it's genuine? Sure. But at the moment it isn't something I'm prepared to focus on, as I'm in the middle of a divorce.

34) Favourite and least favourite food?
Favorite: sushi, Italian anything, Japanese in general, and Chinese.
Least favorite: anything with olives or onions in it, as well as anything super spicy.

35) Do you believe in God?
To put it simply, yes.
Green Eye

The process continues...

Well, I'm all moved into my new location and it's finally starting to feel like home. I'm also finding that it's nice to be single after bending over backwards for someone for 3 years without any real, positive results. Now I can throw myself into whatever I want without another person saying, "Are you done yet? Are you done yet? What about me? Are you done yet?"

My next batch of college courses start in the spring, which means I have all of fall and winter to work and accumulate as much income as possible before I have to reduce my hours to part-time. I feel very fortunate in the sense that I have a family and a group of friends who are totally supportive of my decision to end my marriage and go back to school. After I earn my degree and have a chance to work in my new tech writing position for a while, I will likely have the ability to purchase a home for myself-- no help from my parents or any guy that I may be seeing by then (I do plan on remaining single for at least a year-- I have no desire to rush into something new with anyone right now, and that feels perfectly fine).

I love the feeling of not being afraid to NOT be in a relationship. Being on my own and molding my life into what I want is actually pretty exciting. I haven't had a chance to do so since I lived in my last apartment in 2013. This whole life change was obviously way overdue. And bonus: today I am going downtown to accept a new position as a receptionist at a pain clinic (I got my "acceptance email" yesterday. Yay!). Not only do I now have my own source of income, but my ex will not be around to pounce on my money as soon as it rolls in, wanting to know exactly what I plan to do with it. Freeeeeedom! (I don't care what he thinks. I AM wise with my money and I'm perfectly capable of managing my own finances. I CAN survive without him and I'm smart enough to rebuild my own life.)

Anyway, that's the latest for now. My health is finally noticeably improving and I can't wait to take advantage of my lower pain levels as that part of my life continues to get better and better.

Thank you so much to everyone who has come out of the woodwork to offer support. You've all made my life seem so much brighter during this strange and somewhat confusing/overwhelming period. <3
  • Current Mood
    Relieved
Green Eye

I figured I may as well update this thing again.

For those of you who still read this blog (whether I've met you face to face or you only know me via LJ), here's the latest scoop on my life, primarily because I never thought my path would veer off in this direction: I am officially in the process of filing for divorce. I must have neglected to update my blog after getting married, because I honestly don't remember mentioning the event. But yes, that's the latest. And no, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be. My support network is wider than I thought it would be and I've relocated to a new residence. Now to take care of the legal side of it all.

Now to turn this new house into a home.
Green Eye

25

So... Another year comes and goes, and it's weird to think that I'm 25. Halfway to 50? Really??

Kyle has plans for us tonight, but he won't tell me what they are. The hints that he has dropped indicate that it's something big. I can't wait! When he makes plans for us, he does a great job.

I heard from almost all of my friends from Germany today. I miss them so much and I can hardly wait to see them again!

Dinner tomorrow night with Kyle and my family. Looking forward to that, too.

Time to walk the beagle. It's a perfect day for it: clear blue sky and temperatures exceeding 75 degrees (<3).
  • Current Mood
    excited excited
Green Eye

Break time jump-around ramblings

Moving day is tomorrow.
I've packed about 3/4 of the stuff in our apartment.
Beagle probably needs to be walked.
I feel like geeking out on Penn & Teller's "Bullshit", but I know I'll lose a bunch of time if I do that.
It's really cold in here even though the thermostat is turned up to 75 degrees.
I need another "creative streak" but I'm not sure how to initiate one.
Oh, well... It'll come in its own time.
I just realized that as of June 4th, I will have been in possession of this LJ account for ten years. Crazy.
You know how the front door is left hanging open all day long when you relocate? I fucking hate that.
I have three days off this week, one of which I will spend freezing to death (tomorrow).
Lately I've been wishing that I would have realized how insecure my peers were in high school (mainly during the first two years). Maybe then I wouldn't have disliked most of them so much.
Why must we remember the horrors we endured in high school anyway? It's not like they matter anymore (I like myself a lot better now anyway).
Actually, if I could do high school over again, I would be a lot more self-assured and easygoing. But hey, we live and we learn.
I miss indulging myself in photography. As soon as the weather warms up, I'm going to dig into it again.
I also miss doing poetry readings. Why did I stop doing those again?
I miss running. I can't wait to buy my new Nikes.
I miss taking weekend trips to the coast. Can't wait to save money on rent and splurge on a weekend get-away.
I missed everything, really-- it's nice to have my pain under control again.
Did I mention that I'll be moving to Texas within the next year or two?
  • Current Music
    Pearl Jam
Green Eye

As the foundation shifts...

My grandma recently found out that she has cancer of the bladder. Being the tough woman she is, she really tried to avoid complaining or asking very much of anyone. After many appointments, she had an exploratory surgery yesterday to determine whether the cancer could be removed safely. It turned out that this was not the case. My mother, who is an RN and has acted as her medical advocate for years, told me that the prognosis is a few months. In the meantime, palliative radiation and chemotherapy will be used "for comfort".

Perhaps I haven't fully processed all of this yet. I feel a bit numb and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. All I can figure is that the best I can do is be as present and helpful as possible. I can accept that. It's just that the process of accepting the inevitable and functioning around it is going to be a bear. Illness and death happen. I realize this. But to be honest, I've never lost someone that I was really close to. The idea of such is beyond my comprehension.

I figured that articulating all of this might help me in some way. But then again... I just don't know at this point. How does one deal with the inevitability of losing such an important member of the family? It's beyond me. I know I should be putting my energy into enjoying the time I have left with her-- I guess there's a very real fear factor surrounding this. In addition, I'm not just concerned about how I will deal with her no longer being with us-- I am far more concerned about how the rest of my family will deal with it. My family has consistently been my "rock". What happens when that rock falls apart? I can't fix it for everyone. I realize this, too. But there has to be some kind of balance-- some kind of solution-- somewhere...

On another note, I feel very fortunate to have a certain someone to hold my hand through all of this (you know who you are). Thank you. <3
  • Current Music
    "Kids" - MGMT
Green Eye

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid cold sore.
Stupid attitudes from other people.
Stupid 7-day work week.
Stupid funk that I'm stuck in.

Also, why do I put so much energy into people who don't deserve it?
I don't understand myself sometimes.
Green Eye

Going to Munich

I booked my plane ticket on Monday, which means this trip is now set in stone. The next couple of months are probably going to drag by, to be honest. But at least this gives me plenty of time to organize everything. This will be my first time traveling abroad, so I want to have a really firm idea of what I'll be doing.

My mom has let me borrow her Fuji street bicycle, which I plan on using tonight. My goal is to ride at least 4 days per week. Frankly, it sounds like much more fun than walking on a treadmill.

What else can I fit in here before I have to leave for work?

Hmm...

...

I need to start writing short stories or poems again. I wouldn't call my life "boring" per se (not to me, anyway), but I do need more material for this blog. I should probably also go back to updating my Grasshopper account.

Yeppers... Cool beans...

Peace out.

(Wow, how lame.)
  • Current Music
    Gin Blossoms